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第5章 爱在无语时Words from a Father2（第1页）

第5章爱在无语时WordsfromaFather（2）

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Inhisroom，Daretchedoutoartedtoleaveforthetriphome.Itriedtothiosaytogivehimdceashestartedthisnewphaseoflife.Again，wordsfailedme.Imumbledsomethinglike，“HopeyoufeelbetterDan.”

A.

Now，asIstoodbeforehim，Ithoughtofthoselostopportunities.Howmanytimeshaveweallletsuentspass?Aboygraduatesfromschool，adaughtergetsmarried.Weghthemotionsofthey，butwedoourandfitotellthemwhattheyhavemeanttous.Orwhattheymightexpecttofatheyearsahead.

Howfasttheyearshadpassed.DanielwasborninNewOrleans，LA.，in1962，slowtowalkandtalk，andsmallofstature.Hewasthetiinhisclass，buthedeveloingnatureandularwithhispeers.Hewasatedandagile，andhebecameadeptinsports.

Baseballgavehimhisearliestge.HewasanoutstandileLeague，aually，asasenihsadethevarsity，winninghalftheteam’sgameswitharecordoffivewinsandtwolosses.Atgraduation，theedDaeam’smostvaluableplayer.

Hisfihough，cameataschoolscefair.Heenteredashowiorysystemworks.Itrimitiveandcrude，espeparedtothefanputerized，blinking-lightmodelseherstudents.Mywife，Sara，feltembarrassedforhim.

Itturhattheotherkidshadheirowshadmadetheirexhibits.Asthejudgeswentontheirrouhattheseotherkids’taions.DanielansweredeveryohejudgesawardedtheAlbertEinsteihebestexhibit，theygaveittohim.

BythetimeDafehestoodsixfeettallandweighed170pounds.Hewasmusdiion，buthe，havinggivenupbaseballflishliterature.Iwassorrythathewouldnotdevelophisathletit，butproudthathehadmadesuchamaturede.

&oldDahegreatfailinginmylifehadbeenthatIdidn’ttakeayearortwoofftotravelwhenIfinishedcollege.Thisisthebestway，tomywayofthinking，tobroadenoneselfanddevelerperspelife.OnceIhadmarriedandbegunw，Ifoundthatthedreamoflivingiurehadvanished.

&aboutthis.Hisfriendssaidthathewouldbeihishold.Buthedecideditwasn’tsocrazy.Aftergraduation，heworkedasawaiteratcollege，abikemessengeraer.Withthemoneyheearned，hehadenoughtogotoParis.

&beforehewastoleave，Itossediryingtofigureoutsomethingtosay.Nothiomihought，itwasosayanything.

Whatdoesitmatterinthecourseofalife-timeifafatherellsasohinksofhim?ButasIstoodbeforeDadoesmatter.Myfatheraher.Yet，Ialwaysregrettedneverhearinghimputhisfeelingsintowordsandneverhavihatmoment.Now，Icouldfeelmypalmssweatandmythroattighten.Whyisitsohardtotellasohingfromtheheart?Mymouthturneddry，andIknewIwouldbeabletogetoutonlyafew

“Daniel，”

Isaid，“ifIcouldhavepicked，Iickedyou.”

That’sallIcouldsay.Iwasn’tsureheuoodwhatImeaowardmeandthrewhisarmsaroundme.Foramoment，theworldandallitspeoplevaherewasjustDanielandmeihesea.Hewassayimyeyesmistedover，andI’tuandwhathewassaying.AllIasthestubbleonhisashisfacepressedagaiheeowork，aafewhourslaterwithhisgirlfriend.

Thatwassevenweeksago，andIthinkabouthimwhenIwalkalongthebeaweekends.Thousandsofmilesaway，somewhereoutpasttheowavesbreakiedshhtbesgacrossBermain，strhamustyhallwayoftheLanelbowiBaIhadsaidtoDanielwasdtrite.Itwasnothiwaseverything.