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第9章TheNotoriousJumpingFrogofCalaverasty
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InpliaherequestofafrieemefromtheEast,IgarrulousoldSimonWheeler,aermyfriend'sfriend,LeonidasW.
Smiley,asrequestedtodo,aoappe.IhavealurkingsuspithatLeonidasW.Smileyisamyth;thatmyfriendneverkneersoheohatifIaskedoldWheelerabouthim,itwouldremindhimofhisinfamousJimSmiley,andhewouldgotoworkahwithsomeexasperatingreminisaslongandastediousasitshouldbeuselesstome.Ifthatwasthedesign,itsucceeded.
IfoundSimfortablybythebarroomstoveofthedilapidatedtaverninthedeinggel's,andIhewasfatandbald-headed,andhadanexpressionofwilenessandsimplihistranquilce.Herousedup,andgavemegoodday.ItoldhimafriendofminehadetomakesomeiacherishedpanionofhisboyhoodnamedLeonidasW.Smiley-Rev.LeonidasW.Smiley,ayouheGospel,whohehadheardwasatoimearesidentofAngel'sCamp.IaddedthatifMr.WheelercouldtellmeanythingaboutthisRev.LeonidasW.Smiley,Iwouldfeelundermanyobligationstohim.
SimonWheelerbatoadblockadedmetherewithhisdthensatdowhemonotonousnarrativewhichfolloh.Heneversmiled,heneverfrowned,henevergedhisventle-flowiowhiedhisierayedtheslightestsuspithusiasm;butallthroughtheintermiivethereranaveinofimpressiveearnessay,whieplainlythat,sofarfromhisimaginingthattherewasanythingridiculousorfunnyabouthisstardeditasareallyimportantmatter,awoheroesasmenoftrageniusihimgooninhisownway,aerrruptedhimonce.
"Rev.Leonidasos;m,RevereherewasafellerhereohenameofJimSmiley,ierof‘49-ormaybeitringof’50-Idon'trecollectexaehow,thoughwhatmakesmethinkitwasoherisbecauseIrememberthebigflumeos;tfinishedwhep;butaheanaboutalwaysbettingonanythingthatturnedupyoueversee,ifhecouldgetanybodytobetoherside;andifhep;apos;the'dgesides.Anywaythatsuitedtheothermanwouldsuithim-anywayjustso'shegotabet,hewassatisfied.Butstillhewasluoalwayseoutwinner.Hewasalwaysreadyandlayingforace;therep;apos;tbenosolit&apmehatfeller'doffertobetonit,andtakeanysideyouplease,asIwasjusttellingyou.Iftherewasahorse-rap;apos;dfindhimflushoryou'dfindhimbustedattheendofit;iftherewasadog-fight,he'dbetonit;iftherewasacat-fight,he'dbetonit;iftherewasa-fight,he'dbetonit;why,iftherewastwobirdssettingonafence,hewouldbetyouwhiewouldflyfirst;orifthere-meeting,hewouldbetherereg'lartobetonParsonWalker,whichhejudgedtobethebestexhorterabouthere,aoo,andagoodman.Ifheeveraddle-bugstarttogoanywheres,hewouldbetyouhowlongitwouldtakehimtogetto-toingto,andifyoutookhimup,hewouldfollerthatstraddle-bugtoMexicobutwhathewouldfindoutwherehewasboundforandhowloheroad.LotsoftheboysherehasseenthatSmiley,andtellyouabouthim.Why,itnevermadeohim-he'dbetonanythifeller.Parsonos;swifelaidverysice,foodwhile,anditseemedasiftheyos;tgoiheein,andSmileyupandaskedhimhowshewas,andhesaidshewassidablebetter-thanktheLordforhisinf'nitmeringonsosmartthatwiththeblessingofProv'denceshe'dgetwellyet;andSmiley,beforehethought,says,'os;llresktwo-and-a-halfshedon'tany
"Thish-yerSmileyhadamare-theboyscalledherthefifteethatwasonlyinfun,youknow,becauseofcourseshewasfasterthanthat-aowihorse,forallshewassoslowandalwayshadtheasthma,orthedistemper,ortheethingofthatkiogivehertwoorthreehundredyards'start,andthenpassherualwaysatthefagendoftheraceshe'dgetexddesperatelike,aingandstraddlingup,andsgherlegsarouimesintheair,atoohefendkigupm-o-r-edustandraisiwithhergandsneezingandblowinghernose-andalwaysfetchupatthestandjustaboutaneckahead,asnearasyoucouldcipheritdown.
"Andhehadalittlesmallbull-pup,thattolookathimyou'dthinkheos;tworthatbuttosetaroundandlookorneryandlayforacetostealsomething.Butassoonasmoneyonhimhewasadifferentdog;hisunder-jaos;dbegintostickoutlikethefo'boat,ahwouldundshihefurnadadogmighttacklehimandbully-raghim,andbitehim,andthrowhimoverhisshouldertwoorthreetimes,andAndrewJa-whichwasthehepup-AndrewJawouldwhathewassatisfied,andhadn'texpeothihebetsbeingdoubledaheothersideallthetime,tillthemoney;andthenallofasuddenhewouldgrabthatjestbythej'intofhishindlega-notchaw,youuand,butonlyjustgripandhangohrowedupthespowasayear.Smileyalwayseoutwipup,tillheharnessedadogodidn'thavenohihey'dbeensawedoffinacircularsaw,ahinghadgonealh,andthemoney,aomakeasnatchforhispetholt,heseeinaminutehoos;dsbeenimposedon,aherdoghadhiminthedoor,sotospeak,andhe'pearedsurprised,andtheerdisced-like,anddidn'ttryhefight,ashuckedoutbad.HegiveSmileyalook,asmuchastosayhisheartwasbroke,andituttingupadogthathadn'tnohindlegsforhimtotakeholtof,whichendenafight,andthenhelimpedoffapiedlaiddow,wasthatAndrewJadwouldhavemadeanameforhimselfifhe'dlived,forthestuffwasinhimandhehadgenius-Iknowit,becausehehadn'tnoopportuospeakof,anditdon'tstaadogakesuchafightashederthemcesifhehadn'talwaysmakesmefeelsorrywhenIthinkofthatlastfightofhis'ur.
"Well,thish-yerSmileyhadrat-tarriers,anddtomdallthemkindofthings,tillyoup;apos;trest,andyoup;apos;tfetgforhimtobetonbuthe'dmatchyou.Hefetchedafrogoneday,andtookhimhome,andsaidhecal'latedtoeducatehim;andsohehingforthreemonthsbutsetinhisbadlearnthatfrogtojump.Ayouhedidlearnhim,too.He'dgivehimalittlepund,aeyou'dseethatfrintheairlikeadoughurno,ormaybeacouple,ifhegotagoodstart,andedownflat-footedandallright,likeaupsoieroffetgflies,andkep‘himiant,thathe'dnailaflyeverytimeasfurashecouldseehim.Smileysaidallafrogwaion,andheostanything-andIbelievehim.os;veseeDan'lWebsterdowhisfloor-Dan'lWebsterwasthehefrog-andsingout,‘Flies,Dan'l,flies!’andquicker'nyoukhe&apstraightupandsnakeaflyoff'erthere,andflopdownonthefl'inassolidasagobofmud,andfalltthesideofhisheadwithhishindfootasiasifhehadn'tnoideahe'dbeendoin'anymore'nanyfrogmightdo.Youneverseeafrogsomodestandstraightfor'ardashewas,forallhewassogifted.Aetofairandsquarejumpingonadeadlevel,hecouldgetrouraddlethananyanimalofhisbreedyoueversee.Jumpingonadeadlevelwashisstrongsuit,youuaileymoneyonhimaslongashehadared.Smileywasmonstrousproud,abe,forfellersthathadtraveledandbeeneverywheresallsaidhelaidthatevertheysee.
"Well,Smileykep'thebeastiidheusedtofetchhimdown-towimesandlayforabet.Onedayafeller-astrahecamp,hewas-withhisbox,andsays:
"Whatmightitbethatyou'vegotinthebox?"
"AndSmileysays,sorteri-like,‘Itmightbeaparrhtbeaary,maybe,butitain't-it'sonlyjustafrog.’"
"Aookit,adturroundthiswayandthat,andsays,‘H'm-so'tis.os;shegoodfor?’"
"‘Well,’Smileysays,easyandcareless,‘he'sgoodenoughforohing,Ishouldjudge-hepanyfrogiy.’"
"Thefellertooktheboxagain,andto,particularlook,abailey,andsays,verydeliberate,'os;hesays,‘Idon'tseenop'intsaboutthatfrogthat'saer'nany.’"
"‘Maybeyoudon't,’Smileysays.‘Maybeyouuandfrogsandmaybeyoudon'tuand'em;maybeyou'vehadexperiendmaybeyouain'tonlyaamature,asit;apos;vegotmyopinion,andI'llreskfortydollarsthathepanyfrogiy.’
"Audiedamihensays,kindersadlike,‘os;merhere,andIain'tg;butifIhadafrog,I'dbetyou.’
"Andthehat&apht-that&apht-ifyou'llholdmyboxaminute,I'llgoay.’Aookthebox,andputuphisfortydwithSmiley's,ao>
"Sohesetthereagoodwhilethinkingandthinkingtohimself,ahefrogoutandprizedhismouthopenandtookateaspoonandfilledhimfullofquail-shot-filledhimprettyohisdsethimonthefloor.Smileyhewenttothesedaroundinthemudftime,andfichedafrog,achedhimihisfeller,andsays:
"‘Noos;reready,sethimalongsideofDan'l,withhisforepawsjustevenos;l's,andI'llgivetheword.’Thenhesays,'Ohree-git!andhimaouchedupthefrogsfrombehind,andthenewfroghoppedofflively,butDan'lgiveaheave,andhysteduphisshoulders-so-likeaFren,butitos;tnouse-hep;apos;tbudge;helantedassolidasadhep;apos;thanifhewasa.Smileywasagooddealsurprised,andhewasdisgustedtoo,buthedidn'thavehematterwas,ofcourse.
"Thefellertookthemoartedaasgoingoutatthedoor,hesorterjerkedhisthumboverhisshoulder-so-atDan'l,andsaysagaie,‘Well,’hesays,‘Idon'tseenop'intsaboutthatfrogthat'saer'nany.’
"Smileyhesthisheadandlookingdoos;lalolasthesays,'Idowoihatfrogthroos;dofffor-Iwohereain'tsomethierwithhim-he'spearstolookmightybaggy,somehoos;A'lbythenapofthenedheftedhim,andsays,'Whyblamemycatsifhedon'tweighfivepound!'andturnedhimupsidedownaadoublehandfulofshot.Andthewas,ahemaddestmahefrogdownandtookoutafterthatfeller,buthechedhim.And-"
[HereSimonWheelerheardhishefrotuptoseeaurningtomeashemovedaway,hesaid:"Justsetwhereyer,aeasy-Iain'tgoingtobegoneased."
But,byyourleave,IdidnotthinkthatauatiooryoftheenterprisingvagabondJimSmileywouldbelikelytoaffordmemuatitheRev.LeonidasW.Smiley,andsoIstarteda>
AtthedoorImetthesociableWheelerreturnionholedmeandreenced:
"Well,thish-yerSmileyhadayallerohatdidn'thavenotail,onlyjustashortstumplikeabannanner,and-"
Hbothtimeandin,Ididnotwaittohearabouttheafflictedyleave.
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