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我的姐妹金纳TheStina
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梅利莎·内维利斯MelissaNevels
ThesummerItureeherandI,livinginCorpusChristi,Texas.WerehislittleapartmentonNorthBeae1981.JustafewdaysafterwemovedihisgirlnamedGinawholivedwithsomepeopleinahousebehindus.Isay“people,”
becausetheywereiuffIhadverylittleknowledgeof,inmyiheyoallyhadaJamaiguestwhowouldein,stayafewdays,thenleave.IrealizedsomeyearslaterthesigheJamaivisitor.Ididn’tknowmuchaboutthesepeopleGih,anddidokoowell.Therewerealwaysalotofadultsthathungaround,buttheyusuallywereipartofthehousewherethemusidleftustoourow.
Gihesepeoplebecause,Iguessyoucouldsay,shewashomeless,inasense,shewasaboutayearandahalfyouhay,beautifulsmile,prettyblgreethirteen,sheknewfarmoreaboutthestreetsthansheshouldhave.Shedidn’tkherwas,aherwasadrunk.Shehadaerwhowasmarriedtoamaninthenavy,andlivedi.NobodywantedGime.Ilovedherlikeasister.
Inthebegiledateachotherontheschoolbus.Ginawasatoughkid,andIguessasadefensemeism,shealutonthattough-kidarmorwheeraweekorsoofschool,westartedtalking.Andsiheonlykidintheareamyage,wereallykiogether.Myfolksweredivordbarelyspokeuo.I’djustmoved600milesfromtheonlyhomeI’deverknowninMississippiandIwashomesidshehadnorealhome.Oncewerealizedwebothhadwoundstolick,itclidarable.Shewasagradebehme,sowehadher.Butassoonaswe’dboardtheschoolbusiilitwastimeforbed,weweretogether.
Welivedowasafive-minutewalkfromwherewelived,justamattertheroad.Ifitwaswarm,I’dgetoffthebusandhurriedlydomychoresthathadtobefinishedbeforemymomgothomefromwork.Thenquicklygetintomybathiupwithourtowelsandsmokesahesand.I’djuststartedsmokiGina.Shesmoked,nly,andithher,Ididn’tthinkaboutwhatmymomwoulddoifshefoundout.Inaway,IguessIwaeherfreespirit.ItwaserthatIrealizedtheintensesadhavefelt.
Aboutmidwayintotheschina’ssisteraskedhertoeahemi.Ioodwhyitttoask.SheknewGina’sdwhereshewasliving.Gina’smomstayeddruime,andIthinktheyhadabigfailingout,ahat’swheolivebehindme.Hermomdidn’twaleastthat’s
SoGime.Iwasheartbroken.Butatthesametime,Iythatshewasgoihhersister.Ithoughtthatifshewaswithfamily,she’dbeOK.Wewroteeachotherlettersatleasttwiceaweek,butfourmonthslatershecameback.Igotseveralstinaastowhyitdidn’twork-out.Ihavemyowntheories.
&on,theschoolyearwasingtoay15thbirthdaywasjustaroundtheoma.Ginastayedbehiherpersonsomewhereincorpus,butwewroteletters,aouch.Taftwasonly18milesaway.Afterwewerethereabout6months,Ginawasagainlacetolive,andthenunswerelookingforsomebodytotakehersoshewouldn’tbeplaafosterhome.ThestotisGinastartedhavingathingwiththelady’s(thatshelivedwith)19-year-oldson.Ginawasjustfourteeime,andsheaskedGiually,shesawthisguyoffandonforawhile.Ginawasloose.Sheeratelylookingforsomebodytoloveherintheonlywaysheknewhow.Anditcosther.
Sowebecameherfosterfamily,ofsorts.Iwasworried.MymomandIwerelivingsoskimpilyasitwas.Webarelyhadmoopaythebills,andaeswehadourelectriedofffor.Iwasworriedabouthavingaofeed.ButIlovedher,andmymomfeltsorryforher.Shecouldseealittleinatoo.Wehadsomu!Webothsooes,aogethereveryweekend.Weeveotce,utiionforawholeday,andwemissedhavingourschoolpicturestakenthatday.Intheschoolyearbook,forthatyear,wheremypictureshouldbe,there’salittlecharawithabarrelaroundhismiddleandasignonitthatsays:“photonotavailable.”
Actually,IbelieveitwasoorsthatstartedthebeginnioGina’sstaywithus.Ithinkmymomwasafraidshe’d“ruboffonme”
.I’mamomnowandIbetteruand.
Ginawaswild,andyou’tcageawildanimalf.Shewaswithusabouteightmowaswinteragaiight,andfoodwassalikedthewildlife.Mymomdidn’tallowthetypeoflife,fegirl,thatshewasusedto.SoGinaeoneelsesheknew,andmadearraoleaveus.
&hewasthelasttimeIeversawher.We’dsharedaroomforsomanymonths,andittyaftersheleft.Imissedherterribly.Irememberherputtiuffintothebackofawhiteeverfetwatghershuttheliddown,andturhasmileandsayihisisit,Iguess.”
Ireplied“Yeah...youtakecareofyourself.Don’tdrinkaoomuch.”
Welaughedandhugged.Shesaid,“Speakforyourself!”
Thenwecried.She’dbeefrieerpartoftwoyearsahingihatIwouldneverseeheragain.
Ididmaime.Justoheplattofromours.Thenabouttwoyearslater,Igotaletterfromher,andshewasinMissouri.She’dhadababy,byamarriedman.“Buthelovesme,”
shewrote.Ifeltverysad,andwonderedifshe’deverreallyfindwhatshesodesperatelywashethoughtshewanotnecessarilywhatsheneeded.
Ineverheardfraihesedletter.IwrotebaevergotarespohisdayIdon’tknoeoher,ifshe’salive,orwheresheis.Wheookpartofmewithher.Webecameliketwins,andwhenshewasgolikeI’dlostsomethihi-like.Shewassofulloflife,anddidn’tdwelloiooutwardly.Andwewereclose,wesharedeverything.
Istillthieheseyears.Twoyounggirlsreaanhoodohs.Yeteachpathfamiliartotheother.Shestillhastheabilitytomakemesmile,aeallthatIhaveandallthatIam.
在我14岁的那年夏天,母亲带着我住在得克萨斯州的科珀斯克里斯蒂港。
1981年6月,我们在北海滩租下了这套小公寓。
搬进去没几天,我遇到了一个叫金纳的女孩,她与其他一些人住在我家公寓后面的房子里。
我之所以称那些人为“其他人”
,是因为天真的我对他们的了解少得可怜。
有时候,一些牙买加人会去拜访那些人,他们在那所房子里住几天,然后就离开了。
几年后,我才了解了牙买加人的重要地位。
对于与金纳一起住的人,我了解得不太多,后来也没有兴趣去了解。
许多成年人经常会聚在那所房子的附近,不过他们只是在那所房子门外的前面,那里有音乐,我们这些孩子则自由地玩耍。
金纳比我小一岁半,我想,人们会说,她是因为在某种意义上无家可归,才与这些人住在一起的。
金纳是一个长相漂亮的女孩,有着美丽的笑容、漂亮的金发和蓝色的眼睛。
虽然才13岁,可是她对街道的熟悉程度已经超出了同龄孩子。
金纳不知道她的父亲是谁,她的妈妈是一个酒鬼。
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